Thursday, January 26, 2006

54-40 - The Canadian Issue

The world loves Canada. Why? Because the people are nice. Is that enough to qualify it as a nation? A bunch of loosely related territories that have nothing in common except, as I understand the history, a desire to avoid becoming American. Canada is so confused about its own identity that it has two official languages. If that is not a recipe for disaster I don't know what is. From what I understand about Quebec, Canada is usually about three days from disintegrating into ten weak little colonies.

Given that Canada has one of the greatest resource bases in the world and is sparsely populated, should the US consider stategies for annexation? I think so. I should point out that it is neither prudent or desireable to consider military action - Canadians need not worry about such things. If Canada were to fall apart...well, there is the likelyhood that the provinces could be absorbed one by one. Imagine - America becoming a national continent. We would have endless energy and raw materials cascading down from the North. Our economy would burgeon beyond anything we could possibly comprehend.

What should the US do to promote Canadian disintegration? Fund the Quebec separatist movement. Fund it, promote it, make it difficult for Canada to remain a nation. Within 50 years we would have one currency and one nation in North America and begin to think about competing with the major economies overseas. If the Canadian Provinces joined out of necessity it would be a peaceful transistion and we could work with them to develop a huge resource-based economy.

It is time for Canada to stop pretending and get with the program.


Blogger Beth said...

I like your blog:) I'll be back

7:52 AM  
Blogger Glyn (Zaphod) Evans said...

Apparently, what you know then is very little.

Invading the Middle East for Oil isn't good enough for you guys or what?

I seriously hope you are making this post in jest...

3:22 PM  
Blogger Craig R. Harmon said...

Sheesh. Aren't enough countries disintegrating at US hands?

8:24 PM  
Blogger Arthur said...

Canada will disintegrate anyway. Why not help the process along?

1:52 AM  
Blogger Luke said...

How is Canada about to disintegrate? Do you actually know anything about a country other than your beloved USA?

Canada will not disintegrate and will never become part of the USA.

5:48 PM  
Blogger Luke said...

How is Canada about to disintegrate? Do you actually know anything about a country other than your beloved USA?

Canada will not disintegrate and will never become part of the USA.

5:48 PM  
Blogger M@ said...

Canada is disintegrating? Is that why we have elections that result in a new government the same day they take place? Is that why the election goes to the person who gets the most votes?

Is that why we are among the most progressive, liberal societies in the world? Apparently, even teetering on the brink of dissolution, but we manage to give each and every citizen health care -- in fact we treat it not as a privilege to be enjoyed by the affluent, but as a basic human right. You guys can't even manage to get free medication to your seniors.

I'm not surprised at all to see that you're completely ignorant of the Quebec situation. Perhaps you should know that Canada has been far closer to Quebec separation in the past than it is now. You should know that our having two official languages is part of our history and national character -- not proof positive of our near collapse. (Switzerland has four official languages -- they're twice as unstable! Go invade them!)

Finally, you guys had your shot at invading Canada in 1812. If you'd go crack a book and do a little learnin' -- again, that's part of our national character, not yours, but you could give it a try -- you'd find out how the USA lost that war, and maybe you'd get an idea of why they wouldn't win it this time either.

I'll give you a quick overview of the reason: absolutely you could overpower, invade, and occupy us, just as you did Iraq. But like Iraq, you would not find the occupation comfortable. And unlike Iraq (and the USA), we are friends with the rest of the world. You might think you have enough power to take over the world, but that's your national hubris. One day you'll wake up.

Anyhow, thanks for letting everyone know how smart and tough you and your country are. See you in ten years, when you're importing more oil from Canada than from anyone else in the world. We'll be using your dollar bills for toilet paper, son.

9:39 PM  
Blogger Arthur said...

Well, M@ et al:

From what I know of Canada (some consider me to be an expert) it is clear that it is no longer viable as a nation.

Canada was founded through a complex process of compromise. Due to the large French population in Lower Canada, it was impossible to create an entire nation without the inclusion of the two cultures/languages.

The Quiet Revolution changed everything. The youth of Quebec desired their own identity and began a movement that is still alive and well today. To suggest that the Quebec nationalist movement will fade away is silly. Stephen Harper's new Conservative government will likely encourage a weakening in the centralized strength of Canada. Explain to me how I am wrong.

Lastly - Canada and Canadians did not exist in 1812. The war was a minor blip in the grand scheme of things. IF the US wanted to take over Canada militarily it could. No question. There has never been any question. I think subtlety is a better game to play.

1:49 AM  
Blogger M@ said...

Okay, how you're wrong:

1. The "complex process of compromise" was not significantly more complex than any other nation's founding. Four British colonies came to terms about how they could put a nation together. Over time, other colonies and chunks of land were added. Sound familiar? Change four to thirteen and you've got it.

Yes, of course the French language thing is a complication, but it's not a fatal one. If you think the Quiet Revolution was a seismic shift, then think about the federal response in the Trudeau years -- that we are a fundamentally bilingual nation, so all packaging has to be in both languages. All government forms have to be in both languages. All government services have to be available in both languages. It's a huge hassle, but the expense is justified by ensuring that no one is a second-class citizen.

And funny thing about the Quiet Revolution. It happened during a recession. As have all the upswings in separationist support. It won't fade away, no, but it's been stronger and we've survived.

2. 1812 was a minor blip in many ways, but it put to an end the USA's expansion in North America. It was bold opportunism at the time, since the Americans (rightly) calculated that the British could not adequately respond while simultaneously fighting France in Europe. Seriously -- would they have taken on a naval power like Britain if the British ships weren't tied up in the North Sea and the Mediterranean? Fat chance.

They (wrongly) thought it was a matter of marching, and were beaten back to the borders and beyond on all three fronts. After that, the British colonies in North America have never been seriously threatened until now, despite the USA's ever-growing military might.

3. Do you really think that the rest of the world would have no response at all if the USA invaded Canada? Do you think the Russians would just accept it? Do you think Britain, the EU, or indeed any of Canada's trading partners would?

Think about the the lying and skulduggery that the USA had to use to justify the invasion of Iraq to the world. And that was a nation that everyone wanted taken out. How exactly would the USA justify attacking a peaceful, sovereign country? Do we suddenly have a dictator and WMD too?

Again, there's no question that the USA could overpower Canada (and indeed almost any non-nuclear nation in the world). That doesn't even bear argument. It's the aftermath that I don't think you're considering very closely.

4. Stephen Harper's government will not be able to seriously weaken the centralization of the government. They are talking about increasing federal transfer payments and making the provinces more independent of the federal government for running provincially-run programs. What is it about giving Alberta the freedom to spend health care dollars however they want, as long as they abide by the Canada Health Act, that I'm supposed to be scared of?

I don't know. Maybe it sounds very fearsome to outsiders. But like many things, this is an ongoing push-and-pull discussion about government mundanities. I'm sure the USA has plenty of those -- your states are far more independent of our provinces, and somehow, you guys have held it together with only the one civil war.

5. If Quebec separated, it would totally screw up the hockey schedule, eh? And come on, eh, no one wants that. Relax, buddy.

7:17 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

"IF the US wanted to take over Canada militarily it could. No question. There has never been any question."

Well, DUH, the US could militarily invade most other countries. Your armed forces are ridiculously well-equipped and deadly. I think, however, you would find next to zero domestic support for invasion of a country where many of your citizens (and soldiers) have relatives, and where the population look, speak and live a LOT like you do. Not "gooks" or "hajis" but white and black people wearing western clothes, speaking English. To say nothing of the international reaction.

I don't think most Americans are belligerent like you. As for the ones that ARE, well, we'd be more than happy to send a bunch of you home in bags, if you ever tried anything silly...

Anyway, speaking realistically, if you know as much about Canada as you think you do, you should know that any US support for Separatism is gonna have to be VERY low-key... if there's one thing that unites all Canadians it's resentment of US meddling.

8:31 PM  
Anonymous Paul F said...


It's better to remain silent and thought a fool,
than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt...

this would be advice to take next time you decde you know something that you obviously have no clue about.

Without confusing you with too many important things like facts here are a couple

1/ the war of 1812 ( henceforth to be known as the kicking of american ass) was run by the british empire however more than half of the combat forces were canadian militias, look it up.

2/ The so called quiet revolution, which really is neither since they are chonrically whining and aren't overly revolutionary, is similar to secession movements in many democratic countries throughout the world. Significantly less violent than several that have plagued the USA throught it's hsotry

Its all fine and good to site making broad statements about such things however it would be far wiser to look closer to home before criticizing other countries.

9:22 AM  
Blogger Arthur said...

We'll have to see how things turn out in the end. Big change can happen in a short time.

Canada used to be much bigger on the world stage and although claims to be a moral county, does not have the global clout that it used to. If you are bothered by my broad statements about Canada, don't read my blog.

It appears that I struck a sore spot; I did not say that the US would invade Canada. Canadians will join willingly when they realize the advantages available to them. And it strikes me as funny - Canadians are utterly dependent upon US money, production, and military to exist as a nation. Before you argue, put away your computer, turn off your TV (except CBC - but only watch Canadian programs), don't buy the Florida oranges or other produce that Canada can't grow in the bitter cold. You can now only listen to Alanis Morisette, Neil Young, and Joni Mitchell (only stuff produced in Canada). Don't eat at MacDonalds or any other fast food chain - even Tim Hortons is owned by Wendy's. Don't shop at Walmart (I assume Canada has Walmarts everywhere).

The fact is, every Canadian consumes US products and would not enjoy the same quality of life without us Americans. There are exceptions to every rule, but for the most part you all would have nothing to lose if Canada broke up and you joined us.

12:27 AM  
Blogger Gary said...

Ha! You think Canadians would freely join with Americans!! For a so called expert ... man are you off base. America is the the loud obnoxious neighbour to the south. He's okay to visit ... you know check out the snazzy lights, drink some cheap (but poor) beer then go home to a nice safe warm place where people respect each others oppinions.
No sir .. the majority of Canadians do NOT want to be American.
Thanks for the laugh!

6:32 AM  
Blogger Gary said...

Ha!! Shake your head Mr. red-neck pot belly American. That is too funny. For a so-called expert MAN you do not understand Canadians. You may under stand some history but you don't know how rightly proud Canadians really are about being Canadian. I don't have Cable TV, I don't eat at fast food joints and I like to listen to the CBC. If Alanis, Neil and joni where all that we had to listen to I'd be okay by that ... but it's not. We have the BNL, Silverback, Gordon Lightfoot and the all respected Stomping Tom Connors (sorry if you americans don't know who Stomping Tom is ... only in Canada Eh!) So it's not the cultural scene that we are missing seems we are doing well there. Canada couldn't exsist with out the American Military?? Where is the proof in that Statement? Need US money ... sure that's buisness but you also need Canada's cheaper dollar and technical expertise to keep the American economy on it's feet. Do you think that would help the States by absorbing us? It may just hurt the US economy.
The States are very much like the loud obnoxous neighbour next door. Okay to visit once in a while, some nice snazzy lights but boy are you glad to get back home and pop open a real beer after a while. No sir ... most Canadians do not want to be American.
Thanks for the laugh .. and say hi to Mr. Hitler ... opps sorry Mr. Bush for me when you you are talking worl policy with him Mr. expert.

6:55 AM  
Blogger Arthur said...

Why did you write the same thing twice? And I wouldn't be so quick to revel in your opinions. From what I've heard, Mr. Harper is on the same page as Mr. Bush. Which is a good thing for both democracy AND freedom.

Relax, Canada. Bear in mind that there was a time when Americans fought a civil war about values. Perhaps Canada will too. Nothing lasts forever in this grand old world - don't get too attached to your land (which has under it water and oil...).

3:38 PM  

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