Sunday, February 05, 2006

Let's Tie Those Wars Together!

Seeing as I'm a "Republican Blowhard," (according to some dinkweed)I may as well get it over with and say it: the only way for America to dominate the 21st century is to tie all of our wars together and consolidate the expenditure of resources. The War on Terror, the War on Drugs, the War in Iraq, the War in Afghanistan etc etc etc.

Lets bring them all together and stop pretending that they are separate. They are all part of the same war - America's crudade to define morality and freedom throughout the world.

America was defined by war and will ultimately be remembered for Her wars throughout history. We, as Americans, should make no apologies for our desire for military action against those rogue states that neither adhere to our doctrines or repect our might. If we're worried about oil - TAKE IT! Take it all. It is our to have if we so desire it. Most people are aware that the Missile Defence Program is already in working order and could likely defend against a barrage of nuclear weapons from any part of the earth (excepting perhaps the former Soviet Union). The government should institute the program, make our goals clear to the international community, and start bombing rogues countries. Iran, Syria, North Korea, Bolivia - NO HOLDS BARRED.

We could also be using our neutron bombs to secure certain real estate. Saudi Arabi has enough oil to supply America for centuries. Use some of those neutron bombs to get rid of the population (if they refuse to hand the oil over freely) and wait until the radiation dies down. How hard is that? We could cut Russia in so they didn't whine about the moral implications (of which there are none, really). Russia doesn't really have a right to complain anyway.

We could also unleash scourges of nano-tech viruses to elimate the masses of Anti-American sentiment throughout the world. We have the technology. Use it! Crush the socialists, the terrorists, the dictatorships. Crush them all. We are America united and we need for the world to respect our authority.

Ah, but of course it's not that simple...or is it? I firmly believe that the PNAC (Project For the New American Century) are completely right and that we should follow their lead in our dealings with foreign nations.

7 Comments:

Blogger CSC5502D said...

Couldn't have said it better myself. I always laugh my ass off when I hear the "no blood for oil" crap. Really? So if OPEC turns off the tap tomorrow, are you gonna ride your bike 40 miles to work?

When your latte at Starbucks costs $20 bucks and your hippy crap bumper stickers have to be sewn on to your car because the petroleum-derived plastic and adhesive are no longer available..I'll bet it'll be blood for oil then, right Berkley boy?

Keep it up man.

12:44 AM  
Blogger Zongo D. Larboni said...

Is this satire? If not then its very very scary.

12:21 PM  
Blogger Arthur said...

Satire? Of what? I guess, folks, that we have yet another bleeding heart asshole commenting.

If anything, people should be satirizing the democrats.

1:16 PM  
Blogger ChangeMe said...

That's what we need. We need to forget the ideas of liberty and freedom and impose a set of rules on everyone.

Your sir, are a dufus.

1:05 PM  
Blogger Brad said...

This must be satire. If not, it's just another right-wing douchebag with his head up his ass.

Probably the latter. ("Latter" means the last one, idiot.)

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Joe Weider said...

Hey Arthur, I know where I've seen you. You're the Before picture in all those bodybuilding ads -- the flabby couch potato who couldn't do a single situp or pullup, or run ten feet without collapsing.

7:46 PM  
Blogger Arthur said...

Joe - uh...what? As I explain 3 posts ago, I put funny fat guy pictures to represent me. That is not me.

Brad - same to you.

9:58 PM  

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